What’s in a name?

Quincey Ankrett- Commercial Bid writer and Fundraiser

The underlying principle of bid writing is to take a product, service or idea and frame it in its best possible light. Working in this world– semantics are important. You get a limited number of words to convey your point and as such every single word counts. Their meanings must transcend multiple audiences and illustrate several points at once if they are to be successful, so selecting the ‘right’ word to convey the ‘right’ meaning and syntax is key.

I am reminded daily that people often interchange the words care and support and yet to care for is to, ‘provide for the needs of someone’, whereas support is to ‘make it easier for someone to do something’. The difference is subtle but important. One can diminish independence whilst the other helps it flourish.

Ultimately – words matter to me and so to do their meanings.

Those readers who are part of the military community will no doubt then understand my aversion to – nay, my downright dislike of – those day-to-day words used to describe our community, and the people and places within it. I refer of course to terms such as Patch, Pad brat, Squaddie and dare I say RAT (for those not in the know this stands for Rather Attractive Tart).

You would think that as a woman of the 21st century RAT would be the label I would most dislike the most, right? You’d be wrong.

It is dependent. This is the accepted terminology within the chain of command for a spouse or partner and is defined in JSP 464 Vol 1 pt 2 as:  ‘A dependant is defined as a spouse/civil partner or child of a Service person or entitled civilian who depends on him or her for support.’

You may question, as I frequently do, the last 8 words of the definition, ‘who depends on him or her for support’. This sentiment, born from an aged institutional creation of military spouse-hood (traditionally constructed to make a person dependant on the terms of service of their ‘serving personnel’), is woefully outdated.

As someone who has been financially independent since 18, rented property alone and cared for the emotional wellbeing of myself and others those 8 words, ‘who depends on him or her for support’ continue to irk me. Don’t misunderstand me here - I hugely appreciate the longstanding support of my husband but we are a team. I don’t depend on him. We depend on each other.

As Carrie Bradshaw would say, ‘I couldn’t help but wonder…’ if dependant is wrong then what is right?

Spouse excludes those unmarried, partner those who are married, cohabiting those who don’t live together, and girlfriend/boyfriend excludes a wealth of personal identifiers. So, what then? What inclusive term should we use?

Unfortunately, I cannot provide the answer, but perhaps collectively you can?